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Nine fricken' days! I hate myself! 
10:19am 20/07/2005
mood: depressed
at dates. I can only remember my birthday and my family's birthday. I never even know what the date is most days! Geez! I don't know what to do. It is horrible. And he called me a freak for writing it in his planner. I swear I didn't know. I hate being like this. Everyone says I'm psychic but I'm not and I hate people saying it! He even called me a fricken' witch. I hate him so much sometimes! But he's been through alot and this must have triggered something. I hate getting the blame for things that I don't mean to do. Oh hey, I fucked up again, that means I can cut cause I have a reason! But I only have my blunt one at school...damn.... there goes 9 days of being clean.....
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09:33pm 11/11/2004
  Heylo, I am a Toronto-based New Media artist who suffers from Bipolar Type II. I am collecting stories from other mental illness sufferers to be included in an installation this February 2005. If you are interested in writing about your mental illness and having it anonymously become a piece of art-installation please join at mentalmoments

Please x-post to this to your journal, relevant communities you're in, and to people you think might be interested. I'm sorry to be such a plugger but this is my fourth year thesis project.
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10:15pm 19/08/2004
mood: angry
I am thinking about cutting...i dont know if i have the gust to do it again and fail..again.My mom and i had another fight.I know big suprise.She was just telling me of how much of a burden i was to her.O how my mother loves me.Why is it always my fault.I am so fucked..i have had it up to here with her.
Damnit..if i ever grow up i hope to god i am not like her.If i ever turn out like my mother WHEN i will kill my self.
I dont know what has happened to my life.NAd why is it so harder when i try to stop cutting.Some times i think i didnt stop cutting for my-self but for other people. And if i cut i am only let other ppl down and that makes me want to cut more.I am just so tired.And i cant stop crying..i think i am having a brake down.I need HELP.
ANd i cant believe i might cut after 3 weeks ..DAMNIT
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*********story time********* 
03:18pm 19/08/2004
  Every night she has dreams.She tryed so hard to have good dreams.She would have dreams about a little girl and her whole loving and caring family.She would have dreams about a boy and his happy life.She would have dreams about a place were you can do any thing,be any thing,and trust any one.She would have dreams about a happy famliy on a picnic and play hide-and-go-seek.She would have dreams about the girl that get saved from evil and gets a wonderful guy.ANd thay would live happily ever after....But then she would always wake up in the moring from those dreams.Put on some clothes.Walk to the door and open it to a world she doesnt dream about.REALITY  
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